just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
