One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
