I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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