You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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