I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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