Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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