Say something about gay babies.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My ass is underappreciated
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
