I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
