If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
