She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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