In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize