just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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