this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
accomplished twins. life is a go
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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