It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My liver just had a heart attack.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
