office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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