Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
