No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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