why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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