Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
