none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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