she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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