you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
