Can Purell be used as lube?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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