I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just gift wrapped bread.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
