You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
