my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
are you so shy because you have an std?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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