Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
