the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
