When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
