Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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