I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize