Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
