it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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