I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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