ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
OPIZZABONMYDICK
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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