The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
