I heard we made out
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
