Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
