You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
