If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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