Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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