her vagine was all disorganized.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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