i just wanna soil my oats bro
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
