Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
