I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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