Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
