i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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