smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
