I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
