ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
