Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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