I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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