It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize