Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
