Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
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We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
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Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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