Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
