Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize