I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
