I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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