K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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