he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I could make wine with my vomit
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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